One hundred kids and Bon Jovi. I’m terrified.

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3rd March 2014

I’ve got three kids. A fourteen and nine year old twins. My lovely fiancée, Nikky has two. A thirteen and a ten. They are all lovely.

I’m in no way scared of any of them.

Together, we are looking to buy a house (or perhaps more fittingly, a shoe like the old woman in the rhyme). It’s going to be very busy and very full.

I am not in any way scared of this either.

However, next week I have a talk to around a hundred kids at the local high school. It’s part of the ‘Barnsley Businesses Inspiring Students (BBIS)’ series in which local celebrities and/or successful business people give talks to inspire students (I have absolutely no idea how I eked my way into this one, not fitting into either of the above categories). Anyway, it’s a great idea. And a great way to give something back to the kids in our home town.

I am terrified of this.

I don’t exactly know why, but the thought of telling ‘my story’ of countless mistakes and wrong turns before finally getting published is more likely to give the overall message of pure confusion to the kids. I can imagine two hundred eyes (presuming that those wearing glasses don’t count as double and there are no pirates in the audience) looking at me wondering what the message actually is. I have now spent weeks of thinking about what to say to them and having drawn a blank I’ve decided it’ll be easier just to pretend. I’ll just pretend to be J K Rowling.

I’m forty in a month.

Four days ago I was looking to buy a few songs from the iStore to listen to on a journey to the Peak District. For some unknown reason (and to my surprise) my fingers began to type the letters in the search box without me having to think. One by one they emerged. I hit the search button. The songs appeared. At that stage I could have stopped myself, but didn’t. I hit the purchase button. I had done it. A full album. Bon Jovi. I played it on my journey, first time I have heard them since seeing them twenty-odd years ago. I sang, and in the interests of truthfulness, I have to say I loved it.

I am absolutely terrified of this.

I fear my midlife crisis is moments away.